The Story of the Land of Nathan

            Usually, I write about whatever things God’s been showing me recently. But today, I want to write a post all about myself. Why? Because people don’t know me; it’s like I’ve been trapped in a state of adolescent enigmatism. I am constantly surrounded by people who love me and would do anything for me, but – it happens so often – when they would actually move in and try to do something to help me, it blows up in their face. While I appreciate the subtle irony of the situation, I cannot and will not let this continue. So, let me explain myself to you (as best as I can on my blog).

            First, I’ll set the stage. The modality I have chosen to use in my attempt to explain me is the Flag Page. The Flag Page is a wonderful program developed by Larry Bilotta, a relationship counselor, and Mark Gungor, a Pastor in Green Bay, Wisconsin. They discovered that the key to helping someone succeed in life is to focus on what’s right about them, not what’s wrong with them, despite its obviously anti-mainstream approach. But considering the horrific failure rates of counseling nowadays, something that flies in the face of the current convention could very well be exactly what we need. And the Flag Page has had great success for those who’ve taken full advantage of the program. Couples have used it to save their marriage; parents have used it to save their kids from depression and even suicide; Special Forces units of the army use it to acutely understand their teammates for when they go out on their assignments and they have experienced amazing results.

The Flag Page is all about understanding yourself and helping others to understand you and what you need from them. As such, it is THE BEST TOOL for assisting you with your dysfunctional relationships. Now I have heard it said (by ignorant people with deplorable listening skills) that the Flag Page is just a personality test, it doesn’t mean anything, and that it isn’t all that accurate anyway. These are people who (like I said, are terrible listeners) need to delve deeper into the program, and not just stop after the ‘taking the test’ part of it. Most people are blown away by the accuracy of the test itself, but even if you’re not, it’s still something you can use to learn more about yourself. To purchase Mark Gungor’s book, Discovering Your Heart with the Flag Page, or to take the test (it’s not very expensive, I’ve bought snacks that cost more) go to flagpage.com. You can also go to markgungor.com to find more helpful resources from Pastor Mark.

            Now, on we go to the mysterious topic of me. I am going to start with a certain part of the results of my own test, one that is more extrapolated and inferred by the computer program and is therefore more likely to not be entirely accurate. For me, however, I think it hits the nail right on the head. Greek philosopher, Hippocrates, discovered that there are four kinds of people in the world. The Flag Page explains the four people as Hippocrates did in his writings. To keep it simple, it uses the analogy of four Countries. Because just as different countries have differing languages, beliefs, customs, and values, so do people from the lands of Control, Perfect, Peace, and Fun. The country I scored in most heavily is referred to as my ‘Home Country’ and it is Perfect. The country I scored in second highest is my ‘Adopted Country’ of Peace. My adopted country has a big influence on how I live in my home country. Now, I will just be copying directly from my own country summary and, bear in mind, this is all true.

For, Nathan, it’s Perfect Country with a score of 160 for his Home Country. He is a specialist in attention to detail, thinking deeply about issues that matter, and passionately pursuing the ‘right’ path. He is always looking to create a life that’s closer to his idea of perfect. He has a knack for diving into the details of a task and analyzing multiple components to find the best possible approach. Friends have always noticed that he is one to continue searching for new ways to grow and improve. Nathan has the basic talents of the greatest artists, poets, musicians, engineers, architects, and technicians because Perfect Country is where the masters of those professions come from. He is also highly sensitive to the feelings of others and he wants people to be considerate of his feelings as well. Nathan’s Adopted Country is Peace Country with 71 votes for that culture. He can be laid back and easy going when he feels comfortable with those around him. When he visits Peace Country, it is because his Home Country isn’t bringing him the serenity that he desires at that time. For instance, he might want to avoid an uncomfortable situation where people in his Home Country are feuding so he would then travel to his Adopted Country of Peace until the conflict subsides.

            That is my temperament in a nutshell, a paragraphical nutshell.

At this point, I suppose it might help you understand what I’m talking about if I describe the test. It’s actually very simple: Step 1, you select, from a list of 56 positive motivations, those that definitively describe you, these are essentially the things you love most about life, Step 2, you rate, on a scale of 1 to 10, how good these select things make you feel, 1 is OK and 10 is AWESOME!!!! Step 3, you pick your Top 5, and that’s it. I should also mention that, if you are a man, do not let your girlfriend or wife help you with taking this test. They think they know you, but will most likely skew the results.

The next part of the Flag Page I’ll mention is the measurement of Soft vs. Hard natured. My score was 79 and 33 respectively. Again, I think I’ll just copy directly from the summary the computer gave me.

Nathan is a mild mannered, Softhearted man who voted highest for Soft traits like peaceful, warm, and sensitive. He can always be depended on to be patient and flexible because he lives his life through his Softhearted nature. Because he is a very easy going and tolerant individual, people enjoy being around him. Nathan is always looking out for other people’s best interests while being compassionate and considerate of their feelings. He tries to be conscious of others’ feelings because he never wants to offend anyone. He believes that being offensive often leads to conflict, which is something that he tries to avoid whenever possible. Sincere, genuine, and open relationships are a high priority to him. With his Softhearted nature in the forefront, Nathan only reveals his Hard nature under certain circumstances. He gave the Hard traits such as strong willed, consistent, and organized 33 votes and can become Hard natured if the situation requires him to do so. He wants to remain calm and flexible whenever possible but will approach things in a direct, straightforward manner if the Softhearted way isn’t working for him.

            Most people in my orbit would probably know that I’m a warm-and-fuzzy, tenderhearted guy already, so I’ll just highlight the primary truth I think you should take away from that whole thing: Sincere, genuine, and open relationships are a high priority to me. So when some of the most important relationships in my life are nothing but dysfunctional and/or stressful, I turn into a rather pitiful mess.

            The next part of understanding me is my Talents. The Flag Page takes all the motivations I selected during the test and sorts them into 5 different talent families. These show the areas in my life where I am most likely to be both successful and satisfied. These are my Creation Talents (40%), my People Talents (39%), and my Task Talents (21%). There are also Leading Talents and Showman Talents, but these don’t apply to me. Of course, I can still be a leader or an entertainer, but it would have to be motivated by something usually found in the other talent families. Here’s the summary.

Nathan loves innovation, creativity, development, experiments, and new ideas because he likes to find ways to make improvements. It’s hard for him to accept things they way they are. He believes there’s got to be a better way! Nathan has a way with people and is able to get them to warm up to him easily. He puts out a vibration that says ‘I like people!’ This talent makes him attractive to others and they want to include him in their lives. People like Nathan are rarely lonely.

To get a concise picture of Nathan’s greatest Talents, here are some expressions that sum up the essence of each motivation found in Nathan’s Talent list:

-         The inventive innovator

-         Attracted to style and art

-         The sound of my feelings

-         Never follows the crowd

-         Feeling what everyone feels

-         Compassion to go

-         Loyal and true to a chosen few

-         Believe in me

-         Analyze everything in order to understand it

-         Making it exactly right

This is so… me.

Out of 56 positive character motivation choices, I turned down 51 to pick my top 5. These 5 motivations, which compel me to live out my daily life, are the key to my happiness and success. These are arranged in a picture so you can see them visually when you do your own Flag Page. And of course the picture is… a flag. This is the flag of Nathan Matthew Knerr: Sensitive, Creative, Musical, Deep Thinker, and Unique.

-         Sensitive (Diligent/Thoughtful/Considerate)

-         Creative (Anything is Possible/Innovative/Inventive)

-         Musical (Rhythm/Entertain/Meaning)

-         Deep Thinker (Analyze/Thoughtful/Introspective)

-         Unique (Don’t Follow the Crowd/Self Assured/Different Drummer)

These are the things I love most about life, what make my life feel like it’s worth living. These motivations can mean different things to different people, of course, so if you do the program you’ll be asked to write down in your own words what these things mean to you and how others can love and encourage you in these areas of your life. I wrote the following:

Sensitive

Meaning: I feel things and people very deeply and emotionally react to them very strongly.

The Rule: Acknowledge and appreciate my sensitivities.

Creative

Meaning: I like to imagine, create, and reinvent things. I believe that there’s a solution to every problem and an answer to every question.

The Rule: Acknowledge and appreciate my imagination as well as the things I create.

Musical

Meaning: I am sensitive to tone and rhythm – vibrations. I like to use these things to communicate, to fellowship, heal, and meditate.

The Rule: Encourage and engage me musically.

Deep Thinker

Meaning: I love to analyze and attempt to decipher the mysteries of the world. I love questions.

The Rule: Ask me questions and give me time to think.

Unique

Meaning: I love doing the unusual, experiencing variety, being unlike anybody else, and exploring the bizarre.

The Rule: Appreciate me for doing the things no one else does.

            So, if you want to acknowledge who I am, motivate me, encourage me, and love me, learn that list of my 5 Rules and follow them. So often I find the people in my life who claim to love me breaking one or more of these rules. Hopefully, that can now stop (at least, mostly stop).

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to know how to treat someone properly. Love is not an emotion or a sentiment, but a gift you purposefully give to others. Don’t do it casually, that’s not real love, but always be aware of what you give to others to ensure that you are helping them and not hurting them, appreciating them and not criticizing them. We’re all different; we all think, and act, and react to things differently than other people. But this is a good thing that brings so much color and life into the world, so learn to actively appreciate it.

           

Now, there are specific people in my life, who desperately need this information, though I won’t name them here (they should know who they are anyway), and I’m sure they will read this. But all relationships have two sides at minimum, so I hope they do their own Flag Pages as well and read the book, do all of those things and share their own vital information with me, so I can know what they need from me as well.

            And as for everyone else, if by chance you have any dysfunctional relationships in your lives, visit those websites, markgungor.com and flagpage.com, for awesome resources and assistance. If you have any questions or comments, you ought to know now that I like ‘em, so please send me some. And until next time, God bless you!