Tonight, I was inspired to write another post, this one
about language. And I don’t mean English, French, Scandinavian, or Canadian
(just kidding). Nor am I referring to the five “love languages”, though that is
getting closer. I mean the language of INDIVIDUALS, the fact that every single
person on the planet is unique and, as such, that each one prefers a manner of
communication that is particular to just that one alone.
It occurred to me when I was sitting in church actually,
listening to the sermon and a few testimonies. The message of one testimony in
particular, really found its way through the rat maze that is my brain. But I
am one who enjoys thinking about whatever tickles my fancy and, as such, I compared this
testimony to the sermon that was preached by my pastor to try to better
understand why it “harmonized” with me so well, while, in truth, it and my
pastor’s sermon were rather complementary to one another. It brought a certain
message to mind from another pastor, Mark Gungor, who speaks about four basic “countries”
of people: Control, Fun, Perfect, and Peace. And each one has their own
language.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grIMH7BsEJI
I am a “perfect person” while my pastor is a “control person”
and the testifier is, I believe, another “perfect person” very similar to
myself, which would explain how their similar messages could have such different affects on me; one was the “control” message while the other was the “perfect”
message and was therefore the one I could understand and with which I could
best agree.
Of course, that’s just a generalization of what actually
happens when people try to communicate. As I said, every person is unique, and
has a specific combination of qualities which make them such. So really, my
opinion in this regard is that one should get to know people – “know your
audience”, as they say – and put on charity; your language is just for you, it
is what you best understand, and it’s how God will always know to speak to you,
but for others, you should learn how to speak their language as best as you can.
If you can learn the languages of other people in your life, the important people
in particular, you’ll find that your relationships with them improve
dramatically, aside from simply understanding one another better. And the key
to doing this successfully is to learn what people love. For example, I love
sensitivity, malleability, rhetoric (even sarcasm sometimes), deep thoughts, gentleness
and softness, creativity, and strangeness. Therefore I have an extremely
difficult time trying to understand people who are blunt, stubborn,
straightforward, simple, rough, unimaginative, and boring, as I know they find
it hard to understand me, but I also know it can be done.
Let me, at this point, clarify something I just said: The
key to doing this successfully is to learn what people love (and then to love
those people). You must leave what you are most comfortable with for yourself
and the language that you understand, if you want to make that powerful connection
with someone else. And if the idea of loving people is too mushy for you, know
this: Love is an action, not an emotion; you don’t need any amount of emotional
affection for someone in order to love them. In fact, getting way too wrapped
up in the emotional aspects of it all can make you very stupid. But, when you
talk to someone, do think about the person hearing, rather than the person
speaking. And if you think that maybe you don’t know them well enough, ask them
about themselves, and the things they love, then listen to what they say and
what they don’t say (if you’re clever enough for that sort of thing).
That’s all I wanted to say, for now. Until next time, God
bless!
